Porridge Bread

There has been a lot of research lately regarding fibromyalgia and a gluten-free diet. I am willing to try anything at this stage. So as reluctant as I was to jump on the gluten-free bandwagon, I'm giving it a go!

There are a lot of gluten-free products available in the supermarket but one thing I have found is that all the bread contains sugar and a variety of other unnecessary ingredients. My friend Tony told me about porridge bread ages ago but I have only just started making it. Here's my recipe:


Ingredients

1 x 500ml tub of natural yogurt (I use Aldi's Greek style yogurt)
1 x egg
2 tsp bread soda
2 x yogurt tubs full of gluten-free porridge oats
1/2 x tsp salt
Large handful of mixed seeds/nuts
1 x tbsp milk


Method

1. Preheat oven to 180°C
2. Grease and line a loaf tin in parchment paper
3. Mix all ingredients together in a large bowl
4. Pour mixture into loaf tin, level the top and cut a line down the centre
5. Bake in the oven for 55 minutes
6. Leave to cool fully before slicing

Everything about you is so f.i.n.e. fine

Help! I'm in the middle of a nasty flare. I look fine of course because you usually do with fibromyalgia. But outside of a flare, there is rarely a day when I don't have pain in my body. When I am in a flare, I just hurt more. Every day the ache is somewhere different. Today it is in my lower back, groin, jaw and head. I can't sit comfortably. I can't stand comfortably. And I feel sick, like I am going to throw-up. Thankfully I never do. And don't get me started on the extreme agitation! But I know how lucky I am. Even in the middle of the worst flare, I don't suffer as much as some. I can function. I can have a shower, although it exhausts me. I can cook dinner, do the laundry, play with my little girl but it all exhausts me. And by that I mean, I can barely find the energy to put one foot in front of the other sometimes. But I have to.

I am lucky to be able to work only three days a week but I'm dreading next year when I may have to go back to full-time. And the problem with that is that I know I won't be physically able to. So I may have to resign. But we need the money.

I worry all the time. I worry that I will get worse. I worry that I am turning into an alcoholic because a large G & T or a glass of wine is the only thing that seems to bring me any relief. I worry that I can't do enough with Eliza. I worry that Ronan, who works full time in a pressurized environment, then comes home to me moaning about my pain. I worry that I moan all the time. I worry that all I talk about is fibromyalgia.

The biggest problem I have with fibro is how invisible it is. Kind colleagues and friends see me limping and ask if I have hurt my leg. "No, it's the fibro" is my constant refrain and I'm sure they are as sick of hearing it as I am of saying it. I am regularly teased for being lazy by using the lift, instead of the stairs. I don't blame them. I look fine. How are they to know that my legs are so stiff, it's a monumental effort to get them to walk on the flat most days? I am offered painkillers all the time. Unfortunately not one single painkiller works for me. It is frustrating and I feel so ridiculous, particularly for my physical weakness and lack of energy. I see so many women with three or four children, juggling full time jobs and I am unable to cope with my one child. I feel like a failure. And I feel they think I am a failure.

On better days, I know I'm not a failure. But on better days, I think I am imagining the nightmare of the flare!