I'm in the dumps a bit today. I made the mistake of trying on last year's summer dresses and they're just a bit too clingy to be worn on my holiday to Italy later this month.
One of the reasons that I have always hated clothes shopping is that I always feel down afterwards. I'm telling myself how ridiculous I am being, even as I type this. I am so lucky. I have a wonderful partner in Ronan. I have a beautiful 8 month old baby girl. I am from a close and fantastic family. I have incredible friends. I am not poor. We own our home. I may have fibromyalgia but barring flare-ups and the challenge of staircases, I am generally fine and well. I have nice hair and good skin. And I'm feeling low because I'm not slim.
This is not a new phenomenon. You'd think after 38 years I'd have accepted the shape I am. And generally I do. Well sort of. I don't think about it anyway which is as close as I am ever going to get to not minding. I just get so frustrated. I have always eaten well. I have never overeaten. I regularly cut a chunk off the meat on my plate and transfer it to Ronan's. I dread to think what state I would be in if I ate takeaways and biscuits, even occasionally, or a bag of chips. A bag of chips! Imagine! I see my extremely slim neighbour having her takeaways delivered three or four times a week and inside I'm screaming, "HOW ARE YOU SO SKINNY??!". A long time ago I mentioned to my GP that I was tired of not being able to lose more weight. His response was to tell me to say no to the doughnuts. Doughnuts?? Hahahahaha!
I know that my fibromyalgia has a part to play because I obviously can't be as active as I'd like to be but at the same time, there are plenty of people who sit on their arses all day playing video games and are still not as cuddly as me. I exercise at home every week day and walk when my legs are working properly. Plus I am lifting Eliza all day.
But enough self pity. I really do know better and most of the time manage to accept that everyone is different. Everyone's body works differently and there are a hell of a lot of worse things in life than thinking you're too fat!
One of the reasons that I have always hated clothes shopping is that I always feel down afterwards. I'm telling myself how ridiculous I am being, even as I type this. I am so lucky. I have a wonderful partner in Ronan. I have a beautiful 8 month old baby girl. I am from a close and fantastic family. I have incredible friends. I am not poor. We own our home. I may have fibromyalgia but barring flare-ups and the challenge of staircases, I am generally fine and well. I have nice hair and good skin. And I'm feeling low because I'm not slim.
This is not a new phenomenon. You'd think after 38 years I'd have accepted the shape I am. And generally I do. Well sort of. I don't think about it anyway which is as close as I am ever going to get to not minding. I just get so frustrated. I have always eaten well. I have never overeaten. I regularly cut a chunk off the meat on my plate and transfer it to Ronan's. I dread to think what state I would be in if I ate takeaways and biscuits, even occasionally, or a bag of chips. A bag of chips! Imagine! I see my extremely slim neighbour having her takeaways delivered three or four times a week and inside I'm screaming, "HOW ARE YOU SO SKINNY??!". A long time ago I mentioned to my GP that I was tired of not being able to lose more weight. His response was to tell me to say no to the doughnuts. Doughnuts?? Hahahahaha!
I know that my fibromyalgia has a part to play because I obviously can't be as active as I'd like to be but at the same time, there are plenty of people who sit on their arses all day playing video games and are still not as cuddly as me. I exercise at home every week day and walk when my legs are working properly. Plus I am lifting Eliza all day.
But enough self pity. I really do know better and most of the time manage to accept that everyone is different. Everyone's body works differently and there are a hell of a lot of worse things in life than thinking you're too fat!
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